Today my partner told me I’m walking into a season of abundance. She’s right, I am. When she said that, I felt the tears well up.
I’ve never experienced that.
It feels unsafe for me when life begins to align. I am so used to pain and loss that it seems impossible to understand that I can have the things I want in life. It’s so foreign.
Trauma not only informs our reactions but it creates narratives for us as well.
It’s easy to try to hyper analyze every single risk in what may be coming down the road. It’s easier to self-sabotage than it is to accept things that are good and healthy. It’s easier to go back to chaos than it is to accept peace and some element of progress in my life.
Learning to love me includes accepting that I can be successful. Trauma tells me that it’s safer to remain in a perpetual state of hyper vigilance and assessing how much I shouldn’t trust myself. Yet, there’s freedom in understanding that I can trust myself and that I am capable of creating the life that I want to live.
It’s been a long-ass treacherous road, but things are beginning to align.
Accept that you are worthy of a life worth living.
Know healing is possible.
Understand that the strength that was forced upon you by trauma can be the strength that builds the best quality of life that you’ve never experienced.
You can let go and begin to trust your inner self.
Change is possible.