Now that I have your attention, and now that I have outed myself, I hope you consider walking alongside me through the rest of this story; however, if you stop here, I understand. After all, this is not about my feelings. ________________________________________________________________
Learning how to unpack and accept my white fragility, white supremacy, white saviorism, white guilt, and white privilege has not been an easy ride, but it has been one brought on by necessity. This story is not a request for pity or for understanding. It is not me reaching out for validation or a pat on the back. This is a raw representation of what life looks like for me and me alone.
As a straight white male, I understand that I am so deeply rooted in a position of privilege, that even writing about this is probably done so in a way that highlights biases that I can’t even see within myself at this point in time. However, I must write it regardless; because, if anything, it may provide an opportunity for other white folks to look at themselves and how they are positioned in society.
The other piece of information that I should lay out before I dive into this is as follows: I am a white Adoptive Parent and a Foster Parent to four Black children and one Latina child. To say that speaking about these things is a necessity is absolutely an understatement. There is no time to waste and there are no feelings (be that feelings of other white folks or feelings of my own) that can stand in the way of letting truth and justice be placed at the forefront of these words.
Remember, I said this was going to be raw.
I can admit, beyond and without regard for my own feelings of guilt, shame, and embarrassment, that I held deeply rooted racist ideologies for years without even knowing it. In fact, as I type this, I can clearly remember thoughts and micro-aggressions I have had about my own children from just a few days ago. As much as that brings me to tears to even admit, and even more so to write that for entire world to see, it is the truth. The fact that I could ever have those types of thoughts or feelings unconsciously popup about my own children makes me think that racism is…